Fashionably Late
by DeadlyFandoms
Summary: "Wouldn't it be a shame if I were t' kiss you now an' make you forget about everything else?" he whispered. "We don't have time…" she found herself saying, but the words seemed to not matter to her anymore. Mary is trying to persuade Bert to get ready for a social gathering at Uncle Albert's...but Bert has other ideas. (Smut Ahoy! / Mary Poppins and Bert established) [COMPLETE]


_**"Does Mary Poppins have an orgasm? Does she go to the bathroom? I assure you she does!" - Julie Andrews**_

 **Hi everyone! I'm back! - And so soon. So, this was an idea I had in my head whilst I was writing what I now call my 'Mega Mary Poppins story': "Come What May" (Which is now finished!) - I was going to put this idea in the story, but I decided against it for a few reasons, so I've turned it into a one-shot!**

 **I'm always working on MORE Mary Poppins stories, so keep your eyes peeled if you want to see more!**

 **Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this!**

 **Fashionably Late**

When Mary walked into the room and saw Bert simply lounging on the bed she could've killed him.

"For goodness sake, Bert, you haven't moved since I left you!" she scolded.

"I 'ave!" he protested.

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah, I was sat up earlier, now I'm lyin' down" he smirked.

"This is no time for humour, Bert" she said sternly before she took a few more steps into the bedroom and almost shrieked, "and you're still wearing that wrinkled shirt!"

"I was gonna get changed in a minute" he excused.

"Bert, you're a grown man, but if I have to dress you like a child then so be it"

"I'd rather 'ave you undress me" he winked.

"And we certainly don't have time for _that_ either!" she said assertively as she moved over to the wardrobe and began to dig through piles of Bert's clothes, "Oh, Bert, this wardrobe is disgraceful – why can't you fold your clothes?"

"Don't see much point in doin' it" he shrugged as he sat up on the bed.

"Oh, honestly!" he heard her voice echo slightly as she leant further into the wardrobe.

"Look, don't worry about it, the shirts in there somewhere"

"Bert, I love you, but not enough to make us late, now will you please hurry up and help me find it!"

"Do we 'ave to go, Mary?"

"Yes we do, Uncle Albert has put a lot of effort into this and besides, it's ever so rude to be late"

"We can't be late if we don't go at all"

"Bert, what an earth is the matter with you today?" her head was still inside the wardrobe.

"Nothin'…" He rose from the bed, moved over to Mary and snaked his arms around her waist from behind – pulling her head out of the wardrobe, "I've just 'ad a busy week an' I'd quite like to spend my Sunday relaxin' with my beautiful wife"

"Well, as delightful as that sounds, I have to tell you that we are going, so hurry up"

"Do we 'ave to?"

"Yes, Bert…only the most impertinent of people would dessert the party without a good reason…which we _don't_ have"

"I mean, do we _really_ 'ave t' go?"

"Well, society won't collapse if we don't, but I am not having us arrive late, nor will I allow us not arrive at all"

"But Uncle Albert won't mind"

" _I'll_ mind, Bert" she straightened herself up within his embrace, "It would be such a shame if we were to disappoint anyone and furthermore -"

Her words were cut short when she felt Bert press a kiss against her neck, he knew exactly what this did to her and she could've smacked him…if it didn't feel so damn good. She subconsciously tilted her head to give him better access and his lips began to trail all the way down her neck – each kiss burning into her skin like fire.

"I agree -" he said between kisses, "—it would be a shame if somethin' were t' distract you" he purred as he gently nipped at her skin.

"Bert…" she breathed – as both a warning and a plea.

His hands smoothed across her frame and up over her shoulders before finding the buttons of her dress.

"It would be a shame if something caused you to be late…like not bein' dressed yet" was his next daring purr.

His kisses moved down to Mary's shoulders as each button became undone – his tongue delicately dipping out to trace her skin. He slid the garment off of her body at a painfully slow pace until it finally fell to a crumple beneath them – leaving Mary in just her undergarments. His lips found her neck again as one hand smoothed over her body, across her still covered breasts, her stomach and hips – it was driving her mad. He could hear her heavy breaths of satisfaction and she seemed to whimper with each touch. Once Bert's hands were back on her waist, he tugged gently so that she was now facing him, her lips were slightly parted and her eyes dark with desire. He locked his gaze with hers and he could tell that she was aching for his lips on her own – he smirked slightly as he nuzzled their noses together.

"Wouldn't it be a shame if I were t' kiss you now an' make you forget about everything else?" he whispered.

"We don't have time…" she found herself saying, but the words seemed to not matter to her anymore.

He tightened the embrace and took a moment to look down at her perfect red lips – they seemed to be inching closer to his own; so when he finally did kiss her the world around them all but vanished. The kiss was long and slow, but so sensual and the feeling of their lips moving together so fluidly and their tongues dancing was intoxicating. Bert moved his hand up to her hair and hovered over the style she had spent so long forcing it into; he broke the kiss for a few seconds,

"Wouldn't it be a shame if we were late 'cos you 'ad to sort out your 'air again?"

Soon his lips were moving against hers again and he carefully removed the pins from her hair so that it fell around her shoulders like a silky veil; he ran his hands through her soft locks and deepened the kiss. A slight moan escaped her lips. Mary ran her hands up to his shoulders and laced them tightly behind his neck – pulling his body closer. Their kiss was becoming more and more feverish, almost as if electricity was pulsing through their veins – they had such chemistry together, like their bodies were made to perfectly fit together. Bert eventually let his hands trail down to her corset and he broke the kiss again – they were breathless.

"Wouldn't it be a shame if I were t' unlace your corset? That would be most…inconvenient" he breathed.

But Bert did just that, his nimble fingers seemed so familiar with the task that soon Mary's chest was entirely bare and exposed. His lips soon trailed back down her neck and ghosted over the top of Mary's breasts – causing her to exhale with pleasure. With his hands still on her waist, Bert took a few steps back, sank onto the bed and pulled Mary down so that she was straddling his lap. Their lips locked again as Mary reached down to Bert's wrinkled shirt that she'd spent so long complaining about. This time Mary broke the kiss,

"Wouldn't it be a shame if I were to take off your shirt? That would certainly be a…distraction" she eyed him devilishly as his lips turned up into a powerful smirk.

"I like your way of thinkin'" he purred.

And as she'd suggested, Mary began to hastily unbutton his shirt, and without missing a single beat that garment was tossed to the floor. She ran her hands over his muscular chest, feeling every inch of him as he devoured her lips again; his skin was hot underneath her touch and she could feel her want for him grow. Bert eventually fell back against the covers and rolled over so that he was hovering over Mary – making sure not to put any of his weight on her. He stared down at the woman underneath him and even though he had seen her like this so many times, she never failed to mesmerise him.

"You're so beautiful" he whispered as he began to plant kisses across her stomach.

Bert then removed the rest of Mary's undergarments – but at a painfully slow pace that almost made her pant with anticipation. He felt Mary's delicate hand grab hold of his arm and pull him back up to her so that she could kiss him passionately; it was not slow like the first one, now there was a thirst behind their actions and it was driven not only by the power of their desire for each other, but by their love for each other too. As the fiery nature of their kiss seemed to grow, Mary heard the faint clink of a belt buckle and soon realised that Bert had freed himself of the rest of his clothes.

He hovered over her – without breaking the kiss – and he could feel the occasional sting of her nails digging into his back as she tried to encourage him to make love to her. He smiled slightly at her silent hints. He pressed his erection against her and she squirmed with desire, but for some reason he refrained from going any further – even though it was driving them both mad.

"Oh, Bert…" he heard her plea with a violent whisper.

He moved his face closer to hers and whispered – his breath hot and trickling against her ear.

"Wouldn't it be a shame if I were t' stop right 'ere" he teased.

"Bert…it would be the last thing you ever did" she retorted.

They shared a quick smirk before Bert kissed his love for all that he was worth and eventually slid inside of her. They both let out deep moans into their kiss as they became so intimately joined to each other.

"Oh, Mary…" Bert breathed as he looked down into her beautiful blue eyes, "I love you"

"I love you too" she whispered, but her words faded into a moan as Bert began to gently thrust his hips.

She gripped onto him tighter as each thrust caused shockwaves of pleasure to pulse through her limbs and coil in her stomach. The world dissolved away and it was just them, the room was nothing more than their moans and heavy breaths and time seemed to no longer exist. In this moment it was just them.

"Oh, Bert…Bert…" Mary breathed – her moans only made Bert's desire for her grow.

Bert adored seeing her like this, so unchained and so different to how she would normally present herself, this was a secretive side of Mary that was reserved only for him; he felt privileged to be the only one that got to see her in this way and he secretly loved the fact that he was the one who could reduce this woman – the great Mary Poppins, the woman he loved – to trembling. His pace soon began to quicken and although Mary was constantly breathing out his name, her words were becoming less and less coherent as she could feel her climax beginning to build. Bert was burning with each thrust and he could feel his own climax begin to crescendo with such intensity; it was like a drug, it felt so wonderful and so right, god he loved this woman more than anything else. He moaned her name repeatedly – loving the way it sounded – as his limbs began to grow weaker and his movements began to speed up. He could hear Mary whimper beneath him.

"Mary…Mary…Mary, my love…" Bert groaned.

Powerful orgasmic sensations began to pulse through them wildly, Bert tried to drag it out for as long as he could but it only took a few more thrusts before they were both riding out their climaxes together; Mary dug her nails into Bert's skin and arched her back as her orgasm crazed through every fibre of her being; Their cries of pleasure filled the air – making it all the more wonderful – before Bert finally collapsed by her side. He pulled her close to him and held her in an embrace that spoke a thousand words and through their heavy breaths Mary managed to whisper,

"I love you"

"And I love you" was his response as he placed a soft and loving kiss on her lips.

He held her there for a few seconds before she suddenly sat bolt upright.

"Bert!" she exclaimed.

He sat up too.

"What, what is it?"

"We're going to be so late!" she cried.

He would've laughed at her, if it wasn't for the brief icy glare she shot him…followed by his shirt being almost violently throw at him. She practically leapt off the bed and dressed herself at such an fast pace that Bert was sure magic was somehow involved; and not wishing to find himself in more trouble with his wife, he too began to dress. Mary dashed over to the mirror and began to frantically put her hair back into its proper place.

"Hurry up, Bert" she panicked.

"Don't worry, Mary -" he said as he slipped on his trousers and shoes, "—we'll just say that we were late for a good reason"

Mary's hair was once again flawless and she turned to give him yet another stern look – but there was the slightest hint of playfulness in her eyes.

"We don't _have_ a good reason, Bert"

"Sure we do, I'll just explain that we're late 'cos I was makin' love to my beautiful wife" he smirked.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Wouldn't I?" he teased as he bolted out the door – a fuming Mary hot on his heels.

 **Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this!**

 **Please let me know what you though! :) xx**


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